The Joneses is a film about a fake family who are really salespeople, using things in their life and convincing people to purchase them.  Kind of like a marketing tool.  It’s written and directed by Derrick Borte and stars David Duchovny, Demi Moore, Amber Heard, and Ben Hollingsworth.

One thing filmmakers are often trying to fight against is exposition.  They don’t want long, boring speeches explaining something and there are quite a few creative ways they get around this much of the time, but nevertheless it’s something that’s needed.  The Joneses has absolutely no exposition in any form.  If you didn’t already know what the movie was about you’d be lost for a good 1/3rd of it.  And that’s just where this movie’s problems begin.

While I actually enjoyed all the performances by the main cast (and Gary Cole is great as well), there’s this fake immediate sexual tension we’re supposed to feel between Duchovny and Moore that’s just not there.  Then we have the “kids” played by Amber Heard and Ben Hollingsworth.  They both have interesting storylines that fall by the wayside for too much of a cutesy back and forth between the parents.  Also we’re never given much vital info.  Like how old are these “kids” in real life?  We know they’re not teenagers, but how old are they? 25? 19?  Both of their storylines deserved much more time.  However for watching this wreck of a film you are rewarded with a few seconds of Amber Heard topless, which is never a bad thing.

There’s a lot of sudden and unearned drama that comes up out of pretty much nowhere and the stakes are never really that high.  Ultimately I felt like this could be a brilliant Chuck Palahniuk-esque story of American greed and excess with it’s high concept but it’s not pulled off anywhere near right and just becomes a dull and lifeless story about these two attractive people not getting together.  Also despite around a 90 minute running time this movie never seems to end.  It just keeps dragging on and on.

I recommend you avoid this one at all costs.  But if you’re a sucker for punishment its available on DVD today.

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