Killers is the story of a woman (Heigl) who meets a man (Kutcher) on vacation in Nice and they fall in love.  But the man is really a CIA assassin.  Cut to several years later and the pair are happily married and living a suburban life.  Until Kutcher’s old boss contacts him and the neighbors start trying to kill them.  It was written by Bob DeRosa (The Air I Breathe) & Ted Griffin (Rumor Has It) and directed by Robert Luketic (The Ugly Truth, 21).

If I had to describe this movie in one word it’d be “annoying”.  This is such a weird movie, oddly paced with weird tonal shifts.  Not only are both the leads obnoxious, but everything in the movie is obnoxious.  Especially the “jokes”.  This is mostly a comedy but it’s incredibly unfunny.  It’s constantly trying to hard for a laugh.  Then there’s a sorta twist at the end that I don’t even want to call a twist because you see it from so far away that actually makes no sense when it’s explained.

There are a couple of positives though.  Literally 2.  The casting of Catherine O’Hara and Tom Sellick as Heigl’s character’s parents.  The two of them are the only even mildly bright points in this uneven movie.

I highly recommend avoiding this one at all costs.  You will not regret not seeing this movie ever.