Bionic is the latest album from pop star Christina Aguilera.  It’s the first we’ve heard from her in a while and features some headscratching team ups.  Now if you’re a regular visitor to the site you know we tend towards the rock side of things musically, but there’s always time for some sugary pop in there.  I’ve always liked Christina Aguilera, mainly it started as being insanely attracted to her, but then her music really caught my ear.  With this album she’s gone all out doing what she wants and trying to separate herself from the pack a bit.  To be honest though I would not have checked this out if it weren’t for her teaming up with one of my all time favorite groups, Le Tigre.  We’ll talk about that more later but let’s get down to the album itself.

Bionic starts out the album and it’s a fun electronic song.  There isn’t much substance here but it’s a fun little track that gets you into the overall feel of the album pretty quickly.

Not Myself Tonight is up next.  The electronic backing continues but the lyrics are more complex and the song is obviously sexual.  You get that familiar sound of her voice.  My problem with this song is that it’s trying to hard to be sexy but it doesn’t really succeed.  It’s not horrible, the vocals are strong, but it’s trying too hard and it’s not that catchy either.  The music video is below.

Woohoo is the third track.  Here Aguilera is joined by rapper Nicki Minaj, who I’ve never heard of.  This is another overtly sexual song, but not sexy in the way Aguliera classics like Genie In A Bottle were.  This one has a more of a rap vibe to it and it’s a lot of repetitive shouting for the most part.  It’s got a nice groove to it though.  But it’s still not really living up to the promise this album has.

Elastic Love is up next.  It starts with an electric snare beat that continues through the song.  Here there’s tons of effects going on all over the place.  The spartan beat though and a little more work put into the lyrics makes this track stand out.  It’s got the catchy I’ve been looking for.

Paper clips, they couldn’t even hold us together.

Desnudate is another sex song.  I mean the whole chorus is basically “Get naked”.  It’s not bad, but once again it’s not good either.  It does have some moments though.  I really find myself wishing that they just let the sexuality come more naturally.  It’s so forced here, complete with moans.

I’m your supplier of lust, love, and fire tonight.

Love & Glamour is a spoken intro to Glam, a song that can best be described as a version of Madonna’s Vogue.  It’s all about fashion and clothes and is a nice break from the sex, but it’s really pretty much a straight rip off of Vogue and it’s hard to get over.  It’s also kinda boring.

Prima Donna feels like every single song you’ve ever heard at any fashionable club ever.  It’s bland and uninteresting until the chorus, which I wish the rest of the song would have been more like.  I can picture a group of quasi-drunken girls in some club dancing and shouting out the lyrics to this one.  Personally I’m not a fan.  Also there’s a random dude screaming throughout the song and it’s distracting.

Morning Dessert is yet another intro, this time to Sex For Breakfast.  Here we go again with the sex being shoved down our throats.  This time in the form of a piano and synths in a slowed down song.  This is the sultry song.  I just didn’t enjoy this one at all.

Lift Me Up is another slow song.  It’s the token sad/inspirational song.  But it just feels incredibly generic and boring.

My Heart is an into featuring Aguilera’s husband and son.  It leads into All I Need which seems to be about both of them.  It’s another slow song and it’s still dull.  You’d think a more personal song like this would bring more to the table but there’s an odd disconnect.  A distinct lack of emotion that’s unfortunate.  It should be noted that Sia co-wrote this one.

I Am starts getting us back on the right track.  Lyrically it sorta reminds me of Meredith Brooks’ Bitch in a much more slowed down song.  If this was upbeat it probably would have been a lot better.  The slow stuff just doesn’t work on this album and once again I just don’t feel the emotion behind the words.

You Lost Me is yet another slow and dull song.  This time it’s about the end of a relationship. The title is how I feel about the album at this point.

I Hate Boys finally brings us back to the upbeat.  It’s a fun song about boys sucking.  It’s catchy and fun and a good song.  More of the album should have been like this.  It’s still a tad generic and been there done that, but at this point it’s a welcome respite from the slow boring crap.

Let’s go
BOYS SUCK.
MAKE ME SICK.
INFLATED EGOS.
LITTLE DICKS.
USE THEM UP.
SPIT EM OUT.
I H-A-T-E Boooooys!

My Girls is up next.  This is the song that was co-written by Le Tigre.  And it shows.  It feels like a Le Tigre song with Aguilera guesting.  They did an amazing job on this one and it features some vocals by Peaches.  This is packed with schoolyard beats and if you like Le Tigre you’ll enjoy this song.  In fact this is by far the best song on this album by any measure.  It’s fun and danceable and you can sing along.  Peaches guest spot rocks it hard too.

Vanity is the closer to the regular album.  We’re gonna keep going and review the deluxe edition.  Anyway this is another upbeat song.  It’s title says it all.

That bitch is so fucking pretty/if I were her I’d kiss me

Anyway it’s an enjoyable song and keeps up the fun of the previous few tracks.  The weird thing is her kid is at the end of this song that is totally not kid appropriate.  It’s just weird.

So the following songs are only available with the Deluxe Edition.

Monday Morning right off the bat the beat for this song reminds me of The Ting Tings.  And it’s a good song.  This should have replaced one of the dull songs on the main album.

Hey forget about your Monday morning/we will never be that boring.

Bobblehead is kinda weird.  It just feels off kilter.  It’s about slutty girls.  It’s just a little hard to get into though.  Lyrically I liked it though.  It’s more rap than anything.

Birds of Prey was co-written by Ladytron and I don’t think it’ll let fans of Ladytron down.  It’s atmospheric, has a good rhythm, on the slow side but it isn’t boring.  This is another song that should have been on the regular album.

Stronger Than Ever is another slow one.  This one is more a straightforward piano ballad.  It’s good, certainly better than some of the stuff that made the regular album, but not great.

I Am (Stripped) closes out the deluxe version.  It’s the same song as on the regular album but just “acoustic”.  Honestly it’s not that different though.  It’s a slight improvement over the regular version though.

There is one more song that’s an iTunes exclusive called Little Dreamer but I haven’t heard it so can’t review it.  There you have it, Bionic, song by song.  For the most part this is underwhelming, but there are a few stand out tracks that are worth your attention.  Check out the album on Amazon’s MP3 store (Deluxe Version here) or on (regular) or (Deluxe Edition with iTunes exclusive song). Or get it the old fashioned way on cd: