Valentine’s Day is the latest directorial effort (if you could even call it that) from director Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman) with a screenplay by Katherine Fugate (The Prince & Me).  It stars pretty much everyone who’s even mildly popular today.  If you take a look at the poster you get a good idea of that.  The “plot” is that it’s valentine’s day in Los Angeles and we explore various people as they go through it.  Along the way all these various plots interconnect to some degree (often very little).

The thing here is that this is a blatant hollywood money grab.  This isn’t a writer’s movie, nor is it a director’s movie, and it certainly isn’t a showcase for any wonderful acting.  This is a producer’s movie.  They just rounded up as many recognizable/bankable faces as they could and got them to work for cheap because 1) they didn’t need to leave L.A. 2) they could do their entire role in a week max, with very few exceptions 3) they’d be in this movie with all these other “hot” names 4) really it’s a quick paycheck for pretty much no work.

So they rounded up everyone who said yes, and filled out a bunch of bad random cookie-cutter plots that all seemed like they were scenes cut from other screenplays (perhaps they just went through a pile of rejected rom-coms and took scenes they could make fit) and stuck it all together.  No one is even attempting to try here and it shows.

At the end of the day there really was no “character” and it came down to whether you like the person in the role or not.  For example I happen to really like Anne Hathaway and thus I was a little more attentive when she was on screen (she also had one of the more memorable plots although it kinda made zero sense), however I am not a Julia Roberts fan so her scenes didn’t really do anything for me.

Despite this entire movie being retarded it did have to have some way to link all these ridiculous plots and that’s the reason for Ashton Kutcher, who plays a florist and as such encounters most of the characters.  He’s probably the only person who actually had to make time to shoot this but still he’s mediocre.

I do have to say that I liked one thing about this movie.  Taylor Swift.  She seemed excited to be there and you could tell she was having fun and as such her scenes all tended to be just slightly above the rest.

I’d say to skip this one at all costs.  It’s really not worth it.

However should you have an obsession with one of these actors it’ll be available for home viewing on May 18th.  Via Amazon Video On Demand, , and Blu-ray/DVD Combo Pack