Yay time for another recap of The Real World: D. C. Episode 4 is actually mostly what was promised to us in the “Next On…” last week.  It’s also a welcome break from Emily & Ty all the time.

 

 

So the episode starts off rather confusingly at a pool.  I’m all like are they showing the wrong season or something?  What did I miss?  Turns out it’s a hotel pool that they’re all hanging at.  Then it’s dark 2 seconds later and they’re still at the pool.  But now Andrew is making out with some girl.

 

 

Emily confesses she sometimes thinks he’s a virgin because he has no game and doesn’t know how to interact with girls properly.  2 seconds later he’s trying to hook up with another girl, then the first girl is like “that’s my best friend” and they both storm off.

 

Later back at the house Callie, Ashley, and Emily are sitting around and Andrew is talking to them.  They’re quizzing him about his sex life.  Callie asks how many girls he’s slept with and he says 12, a respectful number for someone his age if you ask me, but then he says he’s never slept with any of them more than once.  So he’s had sex 12 times total.  When they ask what about his girlfriend he had he responds:

 

Oh she got fucked many times during that relationship but only once by me.

 

Emily says Andrew needs to go to sex school.

 

The next morning Mike and Ashley go to church together.  Cause they’re the religious ones.

 

 

Ashley says she feels closest to him because of the whole religion thing.  This is all buildup for later.

 

 

That evening the gang is sitting around and Ashley reveals she hasn’t heard from her mother in over a year and a half and the last thing she heard from her was that she never wanted to see her ugly face again.  So now she’s basically looking for family in her friends.

 

Now it’s dinner time.

 

 

Some drunk guys are harassing the gang.

 

 

That is the worst harassment ever.  Anyway Ashley is about to start a fight and Mike diffuses it by asking the guys what there is to do around D.C.  This actually works, but causes one of the guys to join their table.  Ashley is not happy about this.  Even though as far as we can tell he’s just being friendly.

 

 

Harsh dude.  Way harsh.  Anyway Mike is all like why are you being so mean?  Ashley says he was siding with the drunk guy and not her.  Ty will later put this entire argument (that’s gonna last the whole episode btw) in perfect terms.  But for now Ashley looks like a raging bitch as after dinner she goes pretty nuts on Mike.

 

Mad Ashley

 

This fight that is the constant regurgitation of the same things goes on after the commercial break.  Ashley says Mike’s not comfortable with his sexuality and she’s figured him out.  And Mike is starting to get sick of her.  He’s been pretty calm for most of this, just letting her vent, but you can see him starting to lose it.  Us at home are also starting to lose it.

 

 

Andrew tells us that in the mail were a bunch of gift certificates to a sports bar.  And he likes sports and bars so Josh, Andrew, and Ty set off to check out this awesomeness.

 

What’s missing from this picture?

 

When the guys arrive however they notice there are no women.

 

 

Then they notice there is some rather unusual art around for a sports bar.  Turns out it’s a gay sports bar.  I’m expecting things to get homophobic around here and have someone freak out wildly (I’m looking at you Ty) but actually the guys are just pretty amused and sort of laugh at the confusion.  Then this dude comes over:

 

 

And this happens:

 

 

So now they’re sufficiently creeped out.  They leave and the dude follows them!  They somehow get away though.  Andrew makes the brilliant connection:

 

Am I like that with girls?

 

Yes, yes you are.  Now all the guys know how girls feel every single day.  So it was a learning experience.  They agree to never discuss this outing ever again.  Then they all molest Emily when they arrive home.

 

 

Moving on the girls are all out and discussing Andrew and how he needs to be taught how to deal with women.  They’re going to put together a course for him.

 

 

This is an awesomely funny conversation.  Then we get down to the teaching itself:

 

 

These classes are all really funny.  But now it’s time to do some “field work”.  So our little Andrew heads out all by himself to a local bar.  He winds up bringing home Alli.  Whom he introduces to Callie.

 

“So my name without the ‘C’?”

 

She also has blonde hair and the two look sorta alike.  This isn’t lost on Callie.  But then Andrew gets her in bed.

 

 

Andrew is foiled again.  The guy cannot get laid.  He says he doesn’t understand this spooning stuff.

 

The next day the gang is all gathered to play “Never Have I Ever”.  This is some good fun until it’s not.

 

 

Mike says Ashley is bleating in his ears.  This leads to a small confrontation.  We’ll continue this on the

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