Inside the house with everyone all gathered Ty and Emily have a belligerent drunk argument that’s pretty funny.  This leads to Ty telling Emily to hit him.  So she does.

This leads to wrestling on the floor.  They are both children and clearly are seconds from intercourse.

Then somehow the camera doesn’t get (bad cameraman!) Emily spits in Ty’s face.  Which leads to this:

I still can’t tell if they’re about to have sex or kill each other but apparently Ty is really mad now.  About 2 minutes later they’re calmly sitting outside smoking together and Ty still wants to talk about feelings and Emily doesn’t wanna talk at all.

The next morning Emily stumbles out of bed.  No really.

She doesn’t really remember much of the night before.  Neither does Ty.  We also get another awesome line courtesy of Emily:

Did we break anything last night?

Alright now it’s super drama time.  It’s apparently that night (?) and for some reason the gang is sitting around talking about mustard (?) and playboy.  This leads Ashley to say she tested for Playboy before she came on the show and for Ty to say this to Callie:

Oh Ty, are you really that dumb?  Also Callie is absolutely beautiful.  I’ll bet she winds up in Playboy in the near future.  A few minutes later the girls all go outside and Callie is freaking out about her weight.

Let me take a quick break from this recap to just say that Callie is by no means anywhere near “fat”.  The girl is awesome looking, as are all the other girls on this show.  In fact one of the reasons she’s on the show is because even in MTV’s crazy model thin=hot mind Callie is hot.  So please girls do not try to live up to some media version of sexy.   That’s all now we continue with the 3 girls talking about their weight issues:

Callie breaks down and cries in the confessional saying she can never be skinny.  Then Emily actually says something smart (I know I was pretty shocked).  I really need to figure out how to get video into these recaps.  Anyway to paraphrase she says it’s bullshit that girls ever need to look at themselves and have these thoughts about not being skinny enough or looking right.

Erika tells the girls she’d rather have any of their bodies than hers.  Seriously?  Erika is totally the hottest one.  Anyway Ty comes out and suddenly the whole conversation stops.  He sits down and asks “Why is it so quiet?”

Callie pretty much tells him she doesn’t think she can be friends with him anymore.  Ty confesses the whole issue was he wasn’t calling her fat, just saying that she didn’t have the look Playboy goes for.  So in his mind he was just telling her it was a Playboy issue, not with her looks.  Pretty much all the girls go after him.  He walked into the wrong conversation.  When Callie eventually walks off Emily makes Ty go apologize.  His apology is basically that he’s used to talking shit with his friends and he’s not used to girls and them not being able to handle it.

The next day Callie, Erika, and Ashley go out to a Mexican place and discuss their eating habits more.

That night all the girls go out to a dance class.

Where they have a lot of fun but it is made very clear none of them can dance at all.

Back at the house and we’re back to Emily and Ty.  Emily is telling Ty she has sexual fun with him.  And he’s 80% tool 20% good guy.  She wants to continue being “cuddle buddies”.  Thus another episode concludes.

Next on: Andrew almost hooks up with a girl and Ashley and Mike get into a fight.