Ahh so last week’s recap was pretty epic.  This one is going to be a lot less so.  It’s gonna be much shorter and concise.  Also it’s once again late, this time though it really wasn’t my fault.  I couldn’t get ahold of the episode to get screengrabs from.  Anyway enough excuses let’s proceed.

Last week was all about setting everyone up in DC and establishing our new cast and their new place.  This week is all about the love.  We also start to see how some people are going to fade into the background.  Josh and Erika both are barely in this episode.  In fact there’s like a couple of shots of Josh like in the background but that’s about it.  It’s unfortunate because I would love to see a lot more of Erika (entendre doubled on purpose).

The episode actually starts with Ashley on the phone with someone describing everyone in the cast.  This is to bring anyone who missed last week’s episode up to speed I guess.  Then we see Callie and Andrew sharing some bonding time.  First he shows her some of his comics then she shows him some of her pictures.  She says she’s interested in learning more about him.  He says:

I really like Callie.  She’s nice, she’s funny, she turns me on.

Oh Andrew.  To be perfectly honest though Andrew who was super creepy last week does a real 180 this week.  We’ll discuss that more though a little later.  We move on to Emily telling Ashley more about the cult she was raised in and also about her two sisters.  Also how because of the cult she has problems with commitment and authority.  This conversation is what we call “foreshadowing”.

Ashley in the next scene is hitting on bi-sexual Mike hardcore.  In fact she says this:

Any time you wanna sleep with me just let me know.

That’s not one of those confessional to the camera things, she says that to him.  We quickly move on to MOAR EMILY!  This time she’s talking with Ty about her recent relationship with a girl that she ended when the girl told her she loved her.  Cause Emily’s got issues.  She asks Ty to describe her and he reads her like a book but using the most broad things and things pretty much anyone watching this show by the beginning of the second episode could tell you.  So naturally she’s way turned on by this.

It’s time to get ready to go out for the night, because it’s the Real World, what else would they do? Callie and Andrew flirt some more.  Callie seems pretty into him.  He confesses his plan is to spend the whole night hanging with her to woo her.  By the way for the most part in these recaps when I use “confesses” I’m referring to those things when they’re talking to the camera.

Now everyone is at the club.  Shit is gonna get crazy here.

Everyone is dancing with each other.  Emily dances over to Andrew and asks if he thinks Ty is trying to make a move on her and he says yes and she should hook up with him and she says she will if he makes a move on Callie first.

So we cut between Emily and Ty and Ashley and Mike dancing together, both couples very close.  And then:

Boom.  That just happened.  Of course everyone sees it and reacts with the appropriate level of tact:

These are “adults”.  So since Ashley and Mike are now all kissy this apparently gives Emily the go ahead too.

All of this happens within 2 minutes.  Things move fast in The Real World.  With that Emily and Ty need to step outside and talk about feelings.  It’s weird.  They just kissed and now they’re discussing a relationship or lack of one.  So a cut later and Erika is stirring up some drama.

You see she says this because Emily is dancing with some other guy.

Clearly because they’re adults and everything Ty has to get payback.

And also because they’re adults Emily has to say this:

Eww Ty is sooo gross.  I can’t believe I made out with him.

While making this face:

Grown ups everyone.  Just reminding you that these people are not in fact in high school like you might think. Anyway this actually continues and then Emily is dancing on a table literally like this:

Except it’s Ty that pulls her off the table, not Heath Ledger.  Then they get in a drunken argument about liking each other.  This is sorta hilarious because they are both obviously totally intoxicated, but also both crazy, and also the whole thing is so weird.  This is a great way to start a relationship.  Just some advice for the youth, you really should start every relationship like this.  Role models, these two are.

Anyway now everyone is heading home and Andrew is still all about Callie.  He tells her she’s his favorite.  Then she says that they should be best friends.  Ouch.  You can almost see the pain when she says that.  He confesses he’s not going to accept her not wanting to hook up with him yet.

There’s a weird cab ride with Emily and Ty which is too weird to even discuss.  He just says “I hate you” for no reason and then they look like they’re gonna make out some more.  Back at the house it’s time for more of Ashley and Mike.  Ashley wants Mike to tell her all about how he’s gay.  So he does.  It’s during this conversation we learn that he has a boyfriend who is coming to the house in a few weeks.  Apparently since he knew he’d be going on the show they have an open relationship for the show’s duration.

It’s now the 4th of July and the group gets invited to a block party.  Where apparently they just show up and leave a couple of minutes later.  It’s very boring and I’m not sure why they even put it in the episode.  Then the gang all go on a bus with a stripper pole in it (?) to the docks to a boat to watch fireworks.

This boat business is all about Callie and Andrew.  First we get this:

Unfortunately he doesn’t.  Callie asks him about his last girlfriend and then why he left her and he says that he didn’t, that she cheated on him then left him.  He tears up a little talking about it.  You start to feel bad for the guy.  He’s trying real hard with Callie and she’s gotta know he’s totally into her.  He’s not being creepy at all, unless you count the weird hat.  She’s also hanging like all over him.  So shit gets weird like a minute later when he tries to get her to a more private place to make a move.  He asks her to go downstairs and then to the back of the boat and both times she’s all like “no”.  He walks away dejected.  Callie is hurting my brain too dude.

More Ty/Emily weirdness at bedtime.  They start off in Ty’s room laying in different beds.  He says she should cuddle with him and she takes that as like him telling her what to do so she’s gonna do the opposite and goes to her room and he follows her and gets in bed and cuddles with her.  These two are both so fucked up.

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